


The Hazards of Public Showering

by BoStarsky



Series: Assorted Kylux [12]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Daddy Kink, Dropping the Soap, Hux is done with his shit, I dont, Intentionally Bad Porn, Kylo is a slut, M/M, Schrodinger's Virgin, Shower Sex, This is trash, Who Knows?, he learned all his dialogue from porn, i wrote this in like 10 min, im sorry for writing this, kylo is a shameless slut, public showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 11:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15605385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoStarsky/pseuds/BoStarsky
Summary: Ren “drops” the soap and Hux hates his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the worst thing I’ve ever written, but I had a sudden stroke of inspiration so I though, why not. Enjoy this absolute piece of trash. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @BoStarsky

Hux doesn’t typically use the communal showers on the Finalizer, not even the ones reserved for the officers, but today he’s been forced to by a malfunction in his own quarters. The entire experience is degrading. Not to mention that he’s unfortunate enough to be stuck here with Kylo Ren, and his unfairly muscular body, alone. If he wanted to feel inadequate he’d go drinking with Phasma, this is just plain humiliating. 

Ren appears to have no shame, even showing off with the way he’s soaping his huge chest with a purple disk smelling of flowers. The suds running down his body are alarmingly distracting, distracting enough that he has to keep his hips angled away from fear Ren might see his unfortunate reaction. 

He’s almost done rinsing off when something bumps against his foot, something smooth and slippery smelling like flowers. It’s ren’s purple disk, a trail of froth crossing the tiles between them. 

“Aren’t you going to pick that up, General,” Ren leers at him, shifting his weight so that his monstrous cock swings lazily between his thick thighs. 

Hux blushes furiously, “no!” He kicks the soap back over to the knight. 

He’s made it all the way to the towel rack when Ren calls out to him in a theatrically coy manner, “I guess I’ll have to do it myself,”

Turning to look is a mistake, he knows this as he succumbs to curiosity, coming to face Ren just in time to watch him heave a put upon sigh, brace a hand on the wall and bend over. In those few seconds Hux sees more of Ren than he’d like, things he won’t be able to forget. 

When he straightens back up Ren gives him a coquettish smirk over his shoulder, spreading his legs further apart. “Won’t you help me, General,” he coos. 

Snoke help him, he’s going to regret this in the morning. He tells himself all he’s going to do is shove that frilly soap up the knights ass and leave him there, but he knows that’s a lie.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By request the smut has been added
> 
> Now this is probably the worst thing I’ve ever written, I’m already bad at writing porn so why not write intentionally bad porn
> 
> I apologise for writing this
> 
> Enjoy the trash

Whatever convoluted plot this is Hux can’t help himself, this is after all an opportunity of sorts. He can both get off and gain something to hold over Ren’s head should he need it. If he can reduce the errant knight to a hot mess he’ll no doubt come crawling back for more thus giving Hux an advantage. 

Ren’s shapely back is slick with water and fragrant from the soap, the skin soft and pliant under Hux’s guiding hand pushing him up against the cold tile. His other hand goes down to spread Ren’s cheeks revealing his pink furl already slick with lube, the bastard planned this. Of course he did. He can’t be sure if there is a bigger plot behind this or if Ren is just a slut, but he’ll show him, fuck him so good he’ll feel it for days. 

“Should have known you were a slut Ren. Do you bend over for just anyone?” Ren moans like the star of a porno, pushing his ass back against Hux’s hand. 

“Only for your fat cock, General,” he simpers. Good lord. Either Ren is stupid or brain damaged, he can’t decide which is more likely. “Want you so bad, General. Won’t you give it to me?” Just when he thinks this has reached peak stupid Ren flutters his long lashes at him like a damsel in distress, pouting his plush lips.

He looks like a fucking moron with his long hair plastered to his skin, big ears sticking out comically, so Hux opts instead to look at the knights sculpted body and push his annoying face into the wall. There’s no point bothering with pleasantries since he’s already hard and Ren has come prepared. 

Ren’s shout echoes in the empty shower room, his heat clenching around Hux’s dick. He plans to get off and leave, that’s it. Setting a brutal pace he pounds into the warm body beneath him, fisting his hand in long, black hair. Ren whimpers with every thrust, pushing back to meet his hips, at one point he even licks the wall, in what Hux hopes is an attempt to be sexy and not something he actually gets off on.

“Wreck my ass, Daddy!” Where the hell did Ren learn this shit? “Breed me like a little slut!” Hux wishes he could bleach his mind of this entire encounter, but he’s gotten this far so he might as well finish. 

It’ll be a miracle if someone doesn’t hear this, at least no one will walk in on them, not with Ren making that much noise. It’s so obvious that he’s putting on a show that Hux almost wants to laugh. This would be a lot more pleasant if he could plug his ears and not have to listen to the repeated chant of “yes, yes, yes, fuck me good, daddy!” Surely Ren must realise he’s making a fool out of himself. 

Hux comes with a shudder, Ren’s hole fluttering around his cock, milking him dry. He pulls out the second he comes down, using the still running shower to clean himself off. When he’s back at the towel rack he throws a glance over at the knight still catching his breath, hard cock heavy between his thighs, come dripping from his red hole. 

“You’re not going to help me out?” Ren almost sounds timid, voice raspy from all his shouting. 

“Why should I?” This was all a plot anyway. There’s a hitch in Ren’s breath, a shiver in his broad shoulders, kriff no. If he actually starts crying Hux might have to either kill Ren or himself. 

Hux rolls his eyes, stepping up to Ren for the second time, reaching around him and grabbing that impressive, throbbing cock. Ren gasps at his touch, bucking into the ring of his fingers. His moans are less lurid and more authentic this time, nor is there any cheesy dialogue when he shoves two fingers up Ren’s ass to massage his prostate. Thankfully it’s not long before Ren tenses up, groaning loudly as he comes. 

Rinsing off yet again Hux leaves before Ren can confess his love or declare his evil, slutty plot.

**Author's Note:**

> Might turn this into a series if someone wants to read an anthology of poorly written porn in cheesy scenarios.


End file.
